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Every day, during the morning Mass and when the priest gets to the Eucharistic prayer (Lord, Remember our brothers and sisters who have gone to their rest in the hope of rising again: bring them and all the departed into the light of your presence), At this moment, your image flashes in my mind. I ask myself: Is it true? Is Waleed really dead? Am I not going to see him anymore? May be I am in the midst of a dream! May be I will wake up from my dream and find out that Waleed is not dead? But then I look around. I see the faces of all the worshippers. They are real persons. It is not a dream. Waleed is DEAD My throat gets chalked. My eyes get wet. I wipe them with my handkerchief. I continue on with my prayer to the Almighty. (02/16/2002) |
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I am sitting in front of the computer. Mom comes in, smiling, and tells me that she saw you in her sleep, for the second time. (You came to visit us. You decided to visit your friend, Wissam, as usual. But, you did not want to drive a car this time. You decided to take a taxi and you did not have any money on you. So, you waved your credit card in the air saying "I have this only, do you have some change?". So, Mom went to her purse and got you a 100 dollar bill. You told her "I need some change smaller than this." She sent you to me to change it for you.) I am still waiting for my first dream of you !..... When will it come ...? (02/21/2002) |
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Since you have died, .... I am more patient, I can tolerate whatever bad things get in my way. I am more considerate to the moaning of friends, I listen to people's complaints. I am more compassionate, I sympathize with others grievances. I am more caring, I pay attention to others' mischief. I am more concerned with the everyday happenings, I take note of neighbors' complaints. I am more benevolent, I eavesdrop to others protests and objections. I am more persistent, I have increased my endurance. I am more tolerant, I accept pain....... I am becoming a better man, All that because of you ..... WHAT A PRICE ..... (03/02/2002) |
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When I opened my e-mailbox this morning, there was a message from America's 9-11 Memorial Quilts Organization asking for your photo. They are constructing a total of six memorial quilts to honor the New York Police Dept., New York/New Jersey Port Authority, Fire Dept. of New York, EMS, Pentagon and the White House/Victims. Each quilt will contain photos and names of individuals who perished in the wake of September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks against our country and our freedom. I will be sending them your photo so that your memory will be alive for the future generations Thank you America's 9-11 Memorial Quilts Organization. (03/10/2002) |
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Monday, March 11, marks the six month Anniversary since Waleed died. It seems as if yesterday. It will always be yesterday. It is the normal thing for children to lose one of their parents. It is the abnormal thing for parents to lose a child. With us the anomalous has happened. We lost our son on the plane AA 11. Something out of the ordinary happened. Uncharacteristic accident took place. He died and I am still living. He was thirty four, I am seventy. How odd life can be !!! Why is it Waleed and not ME who was on the plane? (03/11/2002) |
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Every morning, when I open my e-mailbox, I find new messages from new friends. They might be from any where in the world. They have visited your website, read your life story and felt heart broken. So, they decide to send a condolence message. The ones who are good at the Internet, offer to create a memorial webpage in your memory. Those who are not, leave their heartfelt words in your guestbook. These people have never met you. They became your close friends. Your life story touches their heart. I feel that your legacy is living on. I think God have sent them to me. I believe that there are many good people in this world. I believe that GOOD will over power EVIL. (03/11/2002) |
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We miss you. We miss your phone calls. We miss your news that used to enrich our spirit. Today, your Mom and I missed you tremendously. We hugged as we murmured your name. Then at church, sister Maria noticed our dismal faces. She decided to take a break and spend the day with us. She gave us this card "Let Go & Let God". Her presence is a gift from God. She succeeds in changing the mood we are in. Mom, while searching in her closet, found a birthday greeting card and an anniversary greeting card from you to us. There is no date on them. It seems you did not date them when you have sent them to us. As if you meant it to be. So, every year on her Birthday and on our Anniversary we will receive your undated cards. Is n't that a nice idea? An eternal Birthday Greeting Card ... and an eternal Anniversary Greeting Card ... From you to Mom and Dad. (03/14/2002) |
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In the house, there are twelve framed photos of you. In every room, your presence is felt. In my computer, the wallpaper is your photo which changes every day. The screen saver is your photo album. It changes every ten seconds. Every morning, I pass by your photos and murmur "Good Morning". I end up in front of your garden. There, I pray. You see, you are different. Usually, when one dies, there will be a coffin and a cemetery. You do not have a coffin, not even an urn. We did not have even the consolation of a body to bury in a grave. We accept the idea that your remains are in the garden in our backyard. But then "why do I need anything when I have your photo imprinted in my heart?" (03/18/2002) |
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While Mom was searching through her memorabilia, she found a souvenir of your first communion. You were seven years and eight months old, then. You had it at the Catholic church in Kuwait. We remember that date very well. How beautiful you were in your formal suit! This is one more item that we have of you. (03/20/2002) |
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On March 9 2002, your cousin Benny passed by ground zero in New York. He left you a blessing and a white rose on the remembrance wall of Saint Paul's Chapel. Thank you Benny for your love to your cousin. (03/22/2002) |
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