Cross

Waleed J. Iskandar

(The actual author is unknown)

Please hear what I'm not saying.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks, and none of them are me. Don't be fooled. For God's sake don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I am secure. That confidence is my name and coolness is my game and that I need no one. But don't believe me. Beneath dwells the real me - in confusion, in fear, in aloneness. That's why I create a mask to hide behind, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. That is if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and that you will see this and reject me and so begins the parade of masks I idly chatter to you.

I will tell you everything that's really nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me. But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding you alone can release me from my shadow world of uncertainty - from my lonely prison. It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope, only hope. Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands. But gentle hands - for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet, and I am every woman you meet.
And I am you also.