Waleed J. Iskandar
(By Bansi Nagji)
~ I was his friend and he mine ~
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We said goodbye to a special person last month. Out of all this grief, I can find little solace, but I learned enough from Waleed to try. I know how profoundly I and others have felt Waleed's loss, and therefore cannot even begin to imagine what his family and Nicolette have felt these past few days. We all know Waleed was one of the world's truly special human beings. In the midst of all of this general and personal tragedy, I can be glad of only one thing - that I was his friend and he mine. Words are just never going to do justice to the grief we are all feeling. I will try, however, to share with you some of what Waleed meant to me - as a friend and a colleague. Waleed and I met my first day at Monitor. Somehow, I gravitated towards him (my first clue about that magnetism of his). Whether it was the long and crazy hair (he had just returned from his post HBS travels) or the goofy, perpetual grin, somehow I knew this was a unique, in the best sense of the word, person. Since that time in the summer of 1993, we always found a way to connect. For my first year in Boston we were neighbors on Beacon Street, so we saw each other regularly. I remember him showing me Boston, as I was brand new to the city. Early on, I have a very clear recollection of us both taking a tour of the Tennis & Racquet Club together, remembering, how much detail he sought on their fitness equipment. He was always the technician. I joined, but he didn't because he didn't like their weightlifting equipment. Most of the time we just hung out together, often at his place and often at some dive bar, (preferred venues: the old Eliot Lounge or the Crossroads). Hanging with Waleed was always relaxing for me, perhaps even say therapeutic; every uptight Brit should be made to hang with a buddy like Waleed. And so, we continued to connect - even in the office. Sometimes it would be seeking him out for advice, which he always gave so generously, on how to do this job and sometimes it would be just to shoot the breeze. I remember working with him a lot when he ran recruiting for Nikos and used to marvel at his energy and patience for the job. I also recall quite clearly sitting in recruiting debriefs with him, realizing he and I shared the same values about people and about Monitor. We even connected in a very unusual way. As you know, when he went to Turkey, I became custodian of his furniture. It was the strangest, most perfect arrangement. He was going to Turkey, and I was just moving into my first unfurnished apartment. As I said, the connection came in many ways. However it happened, we always connected. That's what I remember most. Waleed always wanted to connect, as if fueled by friendships and human interaction. On that particular score (one of many, I might add), he taught me a wonderful lesson. As I remember these anecdotes of my experiences with Waleed, I find myself here in tears and laughing at the same time. I feel good and guilty simultaneously about the laughing, but it strikes me he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. As was so eloquently said on September 24th, he brought so much to everyone he met. To me, he demonstrated a wealth of gifts I can only envy. A phenomenal intellect, yet so practical. A capacity for extreme depth, yet goofy. The kindest, most gentle spirit, yet no pushover. A dreamer, but a rock to his friends. Optimistic, but a realist. Relaxed, yet full of energy. (we all remember trying to get him to take it easy after his knee surgery). Confident, but without a trace of arrogance. I could go on and on. I know you know all of this. However, what is amazing about Waleed is that everybody knew this about him. He exuded who he was all the time. Those that met him got to see it. Even those who only got to meet him briefly got to see it - why else would his client from Merck come to say goodbye on the 24th? We will all struggle with how to make sense of this. I don't know if I ever will. I am lucky not to have lost many who are close to me. In fact, Mirel's memorial service is the only other one I can even recollect having attended. At that time, the world seemed senseless and I could not imagine how good could ever emerge from such sorrow. And yet his beautiful relationship with Nicolette is testament to the fact life does go on. His recent happiness and peace (such a WJI word!) with the world through that relationship is how I will remember him. However, for me what becomes important is what I do in the future with my friendship with Waleed. I learned a lot from him, as you can tell. I don't know exactly what that means for me, but I know it means something. Maybe now, I might connect more with those around me - I mean really connect in the way Waleed did. Maybe now, I might live life to the fullest. Maybe now, I might not choose the safest path because it's the easiest. Maybe now, I'll cherish every moment with my friends. Or maybe now, I'll just smile more. Who knows? If I can do any of these things just a little better, it will be because I knew Waleed. It was my privilege to have had Waleed as a friend. (Bansi Nagji) |
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